How many times do I have to let these tears roll down my cheeks till it all comes to an end?

I don't know for how long can I help him out.
I don't know how long more I can hold on to this sliver of hope.
I don't know if I can stand another phone call from the debt collectors.
I don't know how much more can I borrow or beg from the people who care.
I don't know if I'll ever see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I've grown numb - numb from all the on goings of my little pathetic life.

I miss my old self.
Care-free with nothing to hold me down.
Happy as can be and with lotsa love and joy surrounding me.

But now its as if God is playing a cruel joke out of my life.
But why??
Why is this all happening?
Why did you let our path cross?

Should one day I decide enough is enough, and i finally find the guts to walk away from it all, will someone take my hand and walk with me?
Afterall, it has always been him.
Only him.

God, hear my plea and take it all away.
Get me through this cos I don't ever want to give up on him and us.
Especially us.